My son has been dating his girlfriend for about a year, now. She’s the only think he thinks or really cares about. He’s always up late texting her and he always texts her first thing in the morning. They’re in all the same classes and they always sit next to each other, and she passes him notes and writes on his arm during classes and he does the same thing. He always has her over after school and they do homework together. He’s left handed and she’s right handed so they like to hold hands and share ear buds while they do their work. But they can’t keep their hands off each other and they get distracted. They keep taking breaks and not finishing their homework. They like to talk and play fight and nuzzle each other. They kiss really heavily, a little bit too heavily. We barely see him on the weekend, he’s always out with his girlfriend. He spends all the money he makes from his job on her–he buys her a lot of gifts and he buys expensive paper to write her love letters on. The rest of the money he saves to take her out to really expensive restaurants. His grades are falling, he used to be a very good student, now he’s a terrible student because he’s distracted by her. And it’s not good that he spends all his money on her. What should I do? I don’t want to split them up, I know he likes her a lot, he basically worships the girl, he won’t even let her walk anywhere, he insists on giving her piggy back rides.
If you’re really the parent here, why not start acting like one? Your question implies there’s nothing you can do about this!
Why are you allowing him to text so late at night and first thing in the morning? That’s probably the biggest reason his grades are slipping. He’s sleep deprived. Tell him he gives it to you at 9 pm and he gets it back when he leaves the house.
Same with the amount of time he spends with her. Stop letting her come over every day after school. If you “barely see him” on weekends, again…you’re the parent. Set limits.
You can’t control what gifts he gives her, but you can require he put a certain amount of his paycheck into a savings account. That, too, needs to be fixed. You write this as if you’re a casual observer, when you’ve had the power all along to contain this. It’s not healthy.
Just tell him she is not allowed to come over until he does his home work, and if his grades don’t improve she will only be allowed over on the weekends or something